a new path

of late, i have been going through a phase of soul searching...

soul searching on: do i have more things than i require? is it becasue of a lack of respect for what i have? do i buy stuff just because i fancy them at that point and then rethink the decision of buying and never use the stuff i have bought? have i become a hoarder?

while i could not agree with the idea that i do not have respect for what i buy, i agreed with the fact that i have done impulse buying... and also the fact that i have not used my stuff rationally... i have just stored things i know i will not use...

but i have stored them because i did not know what to do with them... clothes that i will not wear, or clothes that i have grown tired of wearing, utensils that are just lying around in dark corners of the kitchen cupboards, shoes that i do not like anymore or am uncomfortable wearing, clothes that R has grown out of, things she does not like wearing, or shoes she bought thinking that she liked them, but actually did not...

while i have told myself, "whet before you buy", i have told R, "we will buy you things only when you need them..."

because she is still young and has listened to what i told her, without questions about whether i am doing it myself, i know pretty well that i should practise what i teach her...

and i have found an answer of what to do with the stuff... GIVE THEM OUT, without remorse...

i have given out four boxes of clothes, one bag of toys and some of R's shoes... and let me tell you, I FEEL LIGHTER, I FEEL HAPPIER...

while that is true of my Doha home, in my next visit to India, i need to just give away stuff there... one cupboard of sarees, to top the list...

only then will i feel completely LIGHT. and this time, i mean business.

frozen moments

i have achieved a small feat - deleted all the messages that i had carefully selected and kept on hanging on to. why? just to cherish the moment, the mental state in which i either sent out that message or recieved them.
how silly, i told myself. when all that i am doing with my mind is to get as detached as i can from everything in the world, why should some moments in the past be so important?
so i heroically deleted all of them. there are no frozen moments in my handset any more.
and i feel lighter, unburdened, free from shackles.