bringing up Mommy

in the midst of a meeting, i suddenly see my mobile ring and guess who was calling: Mom. she now has a roaming mobile and the call was to tell me that she had reached Nainital where she has gone with her friends for a vacation... she'll also be visiting Almora and Ranikheth...
i ran out of the meeting, took her call and spoke briefly...
as the call ended and i was headed back to the meeting room, my mind raced back to those days... those days of gloom... those days when suddenly i became responsible for Mom, without any warning, without any foretelling, without any sign of things to come...
and the "those" days were when Dad passed away... R was two year five months, i had a very demanding job with a 10-hour day, B was awaiting his transfer from Mumbai to Kolkata, while i had already taken the transfer...
to top it all, Mom was now alone in a two-storey house, not knowing how to fill her days and nights, not knowing where to sign on a cheque to withdraw cash, not knowing what and how much to cook for herself, not knowing why her husband had left her alone, with a busy daughter and a son who had to get back to his place of posting...

i literally stretched the days, day after day, to pack in more... my job had to be attended to with a lot of details since the financial institution i worked for was raising public money and i was looking after that in Kolkata, R needed me, Mom was helpless without me ( i called four times an hour to keep her occupied) and i was staying with B's family at that stage, which had its own set of demands, though not tall...

my day began early, at 5.30.
6-7 was driving class.
7-7.30 -- with Mom over morning tea
7.30-8 -- pack R to school
8-8.30 -- get ready for work
8.30-9.15 -- commute to work
9.15-6 -- work
6-7 -- commute back from work
7-7.30 -- with Mom over evening tea
7.30-9 -- R time
9-9.30 -- dinner with R
9.30-10 -- put R to bed and doze off

and in all the calls i kept making, i was trying to address the fact that she had to continue her life, she had to be able to manage herself, she had to make a new structure for her day, she had to stop depending on anyone (even me, though i did not have the heart to tell her that)...

it was almost like having two daughters all at once, one young in age and needing care and one older, needing compassion...

i started taking her to the banks to get her money in place, got her pension sorted and started, make an Excel sheet of her investments, got her started on a Library membership so that she could spend her time reading...

three years passed exactly in the routine above, only change, we had our first owned home and shifted in... B got an offer in Delhi and was not sure whether i could leave Mom alone and come with him. i assured him i would... i wanted Mom to grow up, be independent and live her life...

i left for Delhi, she saw me off with a blank look... but i knew in my heart of hearts that she would carry on...

and she has...