when the husband has no time for the home...

... is it a sign of a deeper malady?

Warning: this post may seem very one-sided...

wives are routine complainers (i do not know whether this term really exists)... but many husbands look at their wives as people who are never happy, as people who would want a mile if given an inch... and so on...

such wives (yes, they are a different club, altogether and i am not a part of this wives' club, so i am calling them "such wives"), would not mind monthly purchases of gold and diamonds, go shopping to the silk store on getting an SMS that new stocks have arrived, make hot food every meal, rear real nice kids who dote on the mother, who find no time to groom themselves, have tomes to talk about (and all negatives) about the husband's family (as if their own have descended straight from God's kitchen), prefer being called Mrs A-Z (depending on the husband's initials), who do not drive (because they want their husbands to chaffeur them to the cloak, if possible)... but also want their husbands back home pronto at 4 pm, not wondering where the money to buy gold, diamonds and silks will come from.

i met one such wife yesterday and in 15 minutes, she not only shopped around like crazy -- four similar looking tops and one pair of Jeans was all she could gorge on (time was limited, you see), she publicly showed that she had a raging fight with the husband since he does not have time for her and her son, though she did not mind asking her husband for his debit card when the payment was due.

she basks in the glory of two international holidays that the husband affords for the family every year, three annual visits to Doha (the family is in the process of migrating to the UK, so she and her son live in London), a sprawling home each in two cities, but the complain was -- "M does not have time for us... and back in London my friends feel, he does not give me priority over work."

i felt like screaming: how will he, if he has to afford all that he has to???

i struggled to swallowed one small suggestion i have: look at yourself inside and out and be honest when you answer the question: does my husband find me interesting enough? as someone who can engage in some sane issue-based discussion, apart from shopping?
afterall, the appeal of hot food and great sex gets levelled over time... what sticks on is the ability of striking up a conversation in the dead of night, within a tight hug...

shoving them out... keeping them for keeps

i have a habit, call it good or bad, it stays. when it comes to relationships, i can be pretty demanding... the odd fact though is that it takes a long time and a lot of thought to get into one, but once i am in it, i expect a high level of reciprocity... and when the other side gets bogged down with the demand, i tend to move on, leaving them behind and never ever looking back...hurtful, vengeful me... but that's the way i am...
that's one side of the coin... there are some other relationships which i have solicited... some odd quality that i identify with, some trait i love... here, too the reciprocity rule stays... but here the burden is less since i nourish the feel that they give... and in all cases, since they understand what i stand for, the chances are, to that extent, less of going wrong... it is these relationships that i look forward to, growing to love them as i grow with them...