the real ME

where is she???? the real me... i am delving deep and i know not where she is...
to Mom, i am the daughter who is needed for everything that one can imagine, her details of money spent, where should she go for her next holiday, her complaints against the world, her agonies of loneliness...
to R, i am her Mom, whom she needs, to tell her her stupid stories, her quarrels in school or her performance at the Toastmasters classes that she is going for in her winter vacation, show her anger, negotiate a deal (most of such deals are wholly unfair and totally in R's favour) but one she cannot afford to ignore since as she herself says, "you are my fat, sweet Mummy"...
to B, i am the wife, who does not cook (but arranges for food for all meals), who keeps a neat home, who is still more a friend rather than a wife, so can share a good bit of his secrets (odd ones, like the new sexy secy in office, without insecurity) but who knows him bone to bone and whose opinions he relies on...
to natal family, the eldest of my generation, even now cherished by aunts and uncles (on both sides) who make an effort to keep themselves informed about this idiot who is too busy with her life that she does not keep a tab on them...
to marital family, the elder daughter-in-law, somewhat distant, somewhat tough, somewhat decent, but can be relied on in times of crisis...
to friends,(very few and far between) who can talk about any and everything that bothers them since the sounding board is not judgemental...
to colleagues, who miss the banter and the loud voice when i am on vacation but who can be entrusted with work safely...

in all these myraid me-s, where am i? it is all of these put together, added one layer with the other to make a fat, strong, pig-headed whole, very opinionated, and not very scared about her opinions...