trying to play the perfect woman

... is not my cup of tea... i am more un-feminine than feminine... i speak my mind loud and clear, i do not really love cooking, i do not "show" care (if i do care for someone, s/he knows it), i am very independent, i am strong, i rarely break-down and even if i do, it is very very private... in a word, i do not seem to show emotions at all, except my anger...

but some situations in life are such when one has to switch shoes and become a lady... (i know i sound funny)... and here i am, cooking all meals, cleaning, washing, tending to the dreamer, keeping a bored R company, and all this, while i am working from home...

believe me, it is difficult to see the person whom one has known for the entire adult life (more than half of my life really!) suffer, suffer silently and not complain, trying to be as independent as possible, giving me as much cushion as he can...

it is difficult... not because i need to be doing all this alone, not because energy levels are low (i am a born fighter so when circumstances are difficult, i am perfect), but because i cannot concentrate on the three books that i am reading, i cannot do all that i love doing... foremost among them, think, look at the sky and get lost, drive around the city, sit at my work-station in office, sip wine, laze around... in a word, being MYSELF...

and guess what, my Mom made out that something was wrong with me when she called to check how we were, since i had missed calling her... and though i flatly denied that something was wrong, she hung up, saying, "my gut feel tells me that something is wrong, but if you do not want to say, i respect that as well."
didn't i say, Moms are Moms...

PS: one major source of support have been our colleagues... mine have sent across food, called umpteen times to check how we are faring... as they say, in an alein land, it is a new family that one gets...