nope... or so i thought.
love is something which is to be understood, felt and cherished, silently, in privacy... this is what my socialisation was all about... my natal family never believed in love which was shown... so bro and i had one of the most down-to-earth upbringings... public hugs and kisses were taboo, nay i do not think, it ever crossed our parents' minds.
privately also, when just with their children, the only expression of affection i recall from Dad was in a coy, but broad smile and softening of his small eyes, behind his glasses. Mom also, now i feel, was too serious in her responsibilites as a homemaker and a mother, so much so that she did not remember to show either of us any affection, except on our birthdays, when she hugged us tight and blessed us.
with this notion of love, i stepped out into a world of my own, with B, 17+ years back.
my marital family belongs to two schools of thought on love. my DIL is a strict Dad, no-love-to-be-shown school. MIL, on the contary, is very expressive with hers for her children and grandchildren, and since her elder son possibly expected a replication of some, if not all traits, of hers in his bi(e)tter half, he got a rude shock, initially.
i was never (and still am not) a hugging, kissing kind, something which if you know me well, you would have known. i hate showing emotions publicly. in that, i strictly carry the torch of my parents.
my love is in the deeds i do... if i feel warmly for a person, it will be evident in my dealings with that person; contrarily, if i feel cold towards someone, i will show it, though, i feel, over time, the latter has mellowed.
today, i tried to rewrite the love-not-to-shown rule about myself... being B's birthday, i decided i will show off my **** for him... so i did cook some things he likes... and who noticed the difference first? not B, who went about the morning like any other Friday, but R, whose big eyes turned bigger... she ran to her Dad and both came together to the kitchen...
B just gave a stingy half-inch smile... i think i have infected him with my love-not-to-be shown bug, but R gave me a hug and tonnes of kisses.
i will try to do this more often, let's see if i can...
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