where does one draw the line?

an aunt is suddenly diagnosed with cancer, is operated and is recuperating... Mom is upset and sad... she calls me to inform...
one week after the call and the news, i am not sure how to feel... should i be sad? and unhappy?
yes, one part of my mind is certainly feeling a trifle sad...
trifle??? i can see the grimace on your faces... how can i be so heartless? you must be wondering... but fact is i can never gloss over the past... i can never see a person's present without taking account of the past, of what a person has done and not done (prefix deliberately)...
many tell me, these are not times to remember such things, that one should and must be more forgiving and gentle...
whether i agree or not with their views, it remains a reality that this aunt could never sympathise with others, she was always critical of most and never had time for anyone else but her own ilk...
what's so new in that? there are scores of such men and women, but what i just cannot get over is her heartlessness when some others were in trouble and all she could do was to gloat, have pleasantly unkind words (telling them smug things which a troubled mind does not want to hear in times of distress)...
and many have forgotten about this past...
yet, i am aware that there is one more way of looking at this... if i do not feel soft towards her now, how am i different from her?
my defence is: to a heartless character, be heartless...
rude? yes;
dishonest? NO. and that is me... i would rather be rude than be dishonest.