i am shocked and sad...

really... and for me, this is a rare combination which occurs when my belief in somebody i have known and respected is shattered... the shock is because that someone chose a path to becoming rich which, by any stretch of imagination, cannot be dubbed honest (so the major question in my mind -- why did he do so?)... sadness is because my repect for him was misplaced...
i am talking of a gentleman, X, who hailed from a Dalit (the lowest caste in India) famliy, went on to major in Economics, earn a doctorate from an Ivy League University in the US, returned and joined the apex bank of the country, rose meteorically, served in the IMF, is currently the VC of a University in India... this is all that i knew since i was a colleague of his wife, have been to their home, and have taken great comfort from her when R was a toddler and she used to advise me on the home-growm recipes to keep cough and cold away... i remember how we while leaving Mumbai for good, landed at her home since the company flat had to be handed over within office hours and the train would leave Mumbai only at night... i called her and she said, "do not go anywhere but to my home. you will have dinner and leave." we were relieved... she fed us, looked after us and saw us off from the city which was our first home and she broke down as the train left... that was in early 1998...
10 years back...

yesterday, we were home with an acquaintance and he too has come here from the same bank that the venerated gentleman, X, worked... this guy mentioned that X had a very tarnished reputation, that the home, in one of the poshest localities of Mumbai, was acquired by doubtful means, that the car they rode was a favour from someone else... i virtually dropped off my chair, could not believe my ears... since then, i have just been recounting all the times that i had met him, the brightness of the eyes, the scholarly look, the pride in his gait, all of it a great sham package... how? and why?... is this being worldly? is this being wise? then why create the aura? why the appearance of living life by values? why? why? why? why?...