Oct 5, 2008

married women look different

why?, though i should need to qualify the fact that it applies mostly to India... in the West, men and women, who are married/engaged, wear a ring to show that they are committed, any which way...
for us, however, we go overboard... and mind you, it is only the women by looking at whom you know their marital status... we either wear vermillion on our forehead/head (a very pan-Indian phenomena) or the mangal sutra (a neclace made of black beads and gold, again spans the entire North and West), or some specific colour bangle (white and red for Bengal; green for Maharashtra), or a coloured cloth over the waist (in Sikkim, over the baku, their traditional attire) while our men do not need to wear anything as a sign of marriage... some exceptions wear the wedding ring, but as i said, they are fewer in number than who do not...
why this difference? why should only women look married?
we have been taught that if we sport the signs of marriage, the unison will be more peaceful, his health and wealth will be protected and the marriage will last longer...
shouldn't a peaceful and long-lasting marriage, which is a partnership, be the worry both men and women?
possibly, since women traditionally do not beget wealth, they do not need to be protected... and when was their health of any concern, anyway (if it was, India would be less populated, for sure)...
what i have not understood is: how can vermillion or a mangal sutra or a colour bangle help in keeping the marriage going? or protect the man? if the man is so invincible (again a product of the same culture), why should he need protection????
women, as usual, have gone on sporting the sign(s) of being married, without questioning... so it is odd when you have some, like me, who do not abide by such rules... except a bangle which could pass off as an ordinary adornment, i do not sport any sign of being married... and mind you, i do use the vermillion when i feel like using it as a cosmetic, or the mangal sutra that goes as an accessory...
i have been asked this many times and my retort, depending on my mood and who asks, has varied between a casual smile (meaning, i will not reply to your intrusion) to 'what does B wear for me?' (to those, who, i thought, needed to think before asking such silly questions)...
now of course, after 17+ years of sticking to my guns, i am left alone...

No comments: