learning to let go

one of the toughest things in life is this... i am learning new lessons in this every day and the more i try to internalise, it seems there is more to learn on this...
though i feel i am not a control freak, others are not of the same opinion... amongst people whose opinion matters is who else, but my bitter half... and he is 1000 percent sure that i am a control freak... so right now, the emotional tread mill i am riding every day is to let go... and who else again, but let go of a part of me who is now being made to study on her own...
i have severe angst on this one... sure as i am not whether she will manage... will she know the priorities? will she be able to fit all the portions on time? will she know where she needs to concentrate her efforts? will she know the spellings she is not confident of? will she care to practise those tricky sums that she gets stuck on?... and the list continues...
but i have to steer clear since i am not sure whether it is her i am helping (or as B puts it, handicapping her) or it is me i am helping... if it is not the former, i have no business in helping myself on this... all his logic and i am hearing him, as i pen this down...
but really this is tough... whole evenings which were packed with R... her lessions, her activities, her questions, her jokes... have fallen vacant... both of us have been given the stricture that unless we steer clear of each other, R may as well be packed off to a boarding school... this while i used to frequently threaten (only emptily) that the only medicine that will do R good, will be a stint at a boarding... now i am scared since i do not want that to happen...
now, in my vacant evenings, i wonder how Mom spends her entire life alone... neither of her children around whom her whole life revolved at one time, so much so that she did not have time for her natal set up, are with her now... both are grown and are on their own... so what does she think about?
possibly that is the reason whenever we picked a fight with each other (my bro and me) and Mom and Dad stopped us... they said, "you will understand us better when you both become parents in your lives."