heart ache

i am missing the homeland like mad... i want to run right now to take that smell of the fresh rains on the earth, that wet feeling on the feet, no matter how dirty the feet become...
at times, i get tired of this sanitised existence... everything under my control... no sudden rains (yes, here it rains in winter, but that same feeling of getting wet does not come), no getting wet without the umbrella and no coming back home to anxious parents... the roles have reversed... now i am a parent, i am anxious, but am i as loving as mine were? not sure, not sure... have to ask the lil girl back home...
all i want is to go home, get wet and come home...
then i craved for freedom, thought once i am on my own will be happiest...
now am on my own, have tonnes of freedom... but am i happy just now...NO period. hope this is a passing phase...